Top Relationship Red Flags15 Sep 2017
Everyone has had relationships that started out mind-blowingly amazing but ended up going south. How could this be possible when it was so good in the beginning? Many relationships that are not fulfilling or long lasting are the ones that act as a patch for issues that haven’t been uncovered and dealt with from the past, and often seem like true love right off the bat. Feeling like your new relationship is too good to be true? Here are the top relationship red flags that could be the signs to another future failed relationship:
Does your new mate seem interested in talking to you about your past relationships or offering solutions to issues that ended your last relationship? News flash — if you’re mature, you should have worked past your issues in previous relationships and not brought them into current ones. Don’t offer the problems in your past relationship to your current partner — it’s a waste of time and you NEED TO move past them anyway before moving into your next one.
Is the sex too hot to be true? Strong sexual chemistry is important, but trust me, it’s not everything. (S)he does not know basic grammar and is can’t seem to make a rent payment on time but you’re considering her/him as a life partner because the sex is amazing? Priorities people.
Is there sheer insecurity to be on your own and face your issues? Your last relationship failed. Many others have failed. Do you know why? If that’s not an answer you can give right off the tongue (and I’m not talking about “he cheated” or “we grew apart” — I mean, why?), then you need a therapist and don’t consider dating until you’re through at least six months of it.
Trusted friends are raising an eyebrow? Is (s)he treating you like a disposable accessory or seemingly controlling in certain situations, especially among close friends? Your friends are going to give you the truth. Make sure you consider their thoughts — after all, they knew you first. Have self-respect and learn how to spot signs of someone who might be using you.
Soul mate talk within a month of dating? Almost always a joke, rarely a truth. If it feels too good to be true, trust your instincts and move on (before you’re even older). Another small factor to consider is how you met. Drunk or sober? Tinder/Grinder or through friends? Just saying.
Is she your number one priority right off the bat? This is a definite red flag. If you’re past the age of 30, no one should ever immediately become your #1 everything (that is, unless your jobless/homeless/friendless/family less/problem less and you have no self-worth).
At the risk of sounding harsh, we truly feel that singles can be “trained” on how to sniff out soon to be unsuccessful relationships. Though some points on this list won’t apply to every situation, and yes, we have seen our fair share of “one and done” dates where clients have met once and are together forever. Try to remain realistic — it may save you a lot of heartache in the long run.